Very little of illness including growing Pains are really understood.
Inappropriate actions or behaviours, mostly are considered; the person is seeking attention, this may be true to an extent but in reality, not true at all.
Attention seeking is a term created by people who have little or no understanding of the effects of trauma on us as children. Usually as a result of their own traumatic past and their lack of desire to re-visit it.
We People only become ill by what we see or hear - we could include touch, however most often this is too late as the eyes have already registered the action (an imminent beating) - in the formative (Up to 21) years of our lives or when we leave the parental home (which ever comes first) - automatically without our knowledge or consent choosing illness as a last resort to gain understanding.
Pain/illness, inappropriate behaviour is designed - without realising - by a traumatised person to gain understanding that was lost within or not given following a trauma.
So often, the Person responsible for the trauma is unaware - as a result of their own Psychological - thought process damage - they have inflicted a trauma on us - as children.
So often thinking they are either doing us a favour or make sure we do not grow up "to suffer in the same manner they did," failing to see we always suffer much worse than they.
Ultimately, we are responsible. Neither Guilty or a purposeful action, for allowing the situation to affect us by changing our parameters, the way we run our life. Without life’s experience to judge against or aware us of what changes - without realising, we have automatically made changes that will make us ill, in Pain or generally speaking in the Medium to Long-term highly successful.
It is also said by Professors of Medicine or other high ranking Medical personnel; High-achievers are extremely susceptible to certain illness's: ME, CFS, Manic Depression-Bi-Polar Disorder.
The facts of this may well be true, however, when these same Medical personnel, doing the best they are able say...
"We do not know the cause of this, or how to treat the Person...,"
What value other than Kudos or research funding is this statement to sufferers.
When the answer is so simple to grasp as the paragraphs above and below demonstrate.
In the pursuit of understanding to resolve the trauma and subsequent sensitivity, the Mind uses any tools that it can, to bring about an understanding, including creating Physical Pain and illness as well as Psychological disturbances or inappropriate Social Behaviours...
If there is no resolution - understanding, from and by the now negative, destructive, significant People in our lives, then, "we" automatically create illness.
Creativity or Inspiration is possibly the brakes on Madness, if we look back through history, most if perhaps not all of our greatest creators and innovators had serious concerns regarding their Mental or Physical health and so often died early in their creative life.
Is it not fair to ask "if they were not creative" - what would have happened to them?
Or is it because; when the trauma(s) occurred, we did not have life experiences, to enable us to resolve the trauma(s.)
Then, with all the parameter changes we make, we become excuser's. We still do not have the ability to resolve it, because of one very basic factor.
Through our actions in pursuit of finding somebody who CAN understand; with a very, very specific understanding; when the Patient/sufferer does not, cannot, will not tell, thus the Person has to be able to understand - without the sufferer saying a word.
These are all symptoms - there are many more, of a Person seeking understanding.
1. What do I have to do!
2. Please others, always and only at our my own expense.
3. Use Pain illness then I will be understood!
4. The only tool - illness - left, to get understanding!
5. Illness and Pain are the means by which I will gain understanding.
6. Understanding for what...
Caused them to no longer be able to follow a true path of pleasure, thus there is no alternative but to look to the perpetrators and then any one who will listen, to give them the answer or explanation of traumas.
It is this process that causes the breakdown of relationships and marriage.
Hopefully and working towards enabling traumatic events in our Mind to be resolved and the individual, more closely follow a true path of Mind, Body and Emotional Happiness.
If that over riding program becomes more and more difficult the Person suffers Fear, Anxiety and Stress, which in turn causes the Mind to become more determined to the point of desperation..,
“what the heck do I have to do to get understanding here?”
Become ill, become more ill, do something bizarre. Watch any film and this story is always there.
Become a Person who cannot stop: Eating, Talking, Take Drugs, drink lots of Alcohol, Dye Hair some colour or other, install Nails in various and many parts of the body, Run away from home, etc, etc, etc.
And finely create an illness that defies the best of Medical Science or takes our lives before our time and always at the most inconvenient time.
Seven years or so following marriage a couple start to argue, so often the argument is over something silly, soon/never forgotten.
A familiar story, the marriage breaks down, some or most times neither party knows the real reason, blaming each other.
What has really happened is one or both it does not matter which, have made the other into their punitive Person (punishing) the subconscious idea and desire being to force the other party to understand.
How often have we heard in a harsh exchange of words. "You do not Understand?"
Within the confines of our traumatised Mind we make a partner into a punitive Person to recreate traumatic events or emotive responses, created by the real Punitive Person - it could be any one or more of any of the People in our life. Mother, Father, Grand Parents whether we knew them or not, Aunts, Uncles, Brothers, Sisters, Teachers, Doctors and we nowadays must include second, third and even forth generation Aunts and Uncles or perhaps better said; Mum or Dads New partner(s) and their families.
Of course the other party cannot possibly understand - although they try their best - an event separated from the present by so many years.
The more the now punitive (punishing) Person tries to demonstrate they understand, the more the understanding will be denied.
This is where Psychological Game Playing comes into force.
The Person seeking understanding; Asks a question; the Punitive Person replies as best as they can.
The seeker asks the same question again, with a subtle alteration to the words. the Replier answers again as best as possible.
This goes on for a period of time, as long as three weeks, but could be longer.
The question is still basically the same, yet for the listener it sounds quite different.
Again and Again the reply is made with integrity, believing the answer to be that as required.
The seeker then turns on the replier and states you have contradicted yourself, “Three weeks ago you said!!!
The question was never designed to be answered; more it was designed to place the Punitive Person into an emotive position where they - must now understand.
How on earth can the replier understand such a demand, from here the breakdown of the relationship starts?
This is a scenario post twenty-one or leaving the Parental home, it is the same at what ever age you care to apply it to.
Peter Smith Talking Cures asserts the right to be recognised as author and Intellectual
©Copyright holder of this document dated 26th September 2005 Amended 27th January 2011
Talking Cures is a Twenty First Century Medicine...
...able to treat multiple symptoms of Mind and Body in a Person.
Via Telephone 01702 603030 or Skype. Talking.Cures
Criticisms and comments however harsh are welcomed and warmly responded too and seen as an accolade far greater than a United Kingdom Knighthood or Noble Prize.
Please feel invited to mail with questions or comments about this web site
Peter Smith Talking Cures asserts the right to be recognised as author and Intellectual ©Copyright holder - unless specifically stated - of all documents on this website.
These Articles may be printed and distributed at will but published in original form only with the consent of the copyright owner with the necessary authors contact details added.
email@example.com Peter E Smith Talking Cures Is available for Talks and Presentations to Groups of any Size or interest.
107 Victoria Road Southend on Sea Essex SS1 2TF United Kingdom. 01702 603030
Talking Cures is on the register of the Information Commissioner under the Data Protection Act and takes data protection and confidentiality very seriously and can confirm not at any time now or in the future will this site use any form of web site searching techniques to collect information of visitors to this site and if a person decided to email Talking Cures for further information, never will email or other contact information be sold, shown, loaned, or given to third parties. Registration Number Z214793X